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Letting Go Of Expectations...

May 14, 2018

 

"A happy marriage perhaps represents the ideal of human relationship; a setting in which each partner… feels free to be what he or she…is: a relationship in which…giving and taking are equal; in which each accepts the other…"

 

Storr, A.

 

If two individuals are a part of a relationship where persons strive to extend themselves to understand and support one another, where there is a balance of giving and taking, and an acceptance of each person’s individuality, they are likely to experience much peace and security.

 

However, there are times, within various relationships, when expecting other people to understand and consider our inner experience can be like expecting them to understand the language of a foreign country in which they never lived, and show sensitives to its customs.

 

I anecdotally find that many people invest a lot of energy in trying to resist/influence others’ expectations of them; perhaps thinking that if only other people understood where they are coming from and "approved" of their choices and preferences, they would be free from the experience of guilt and pressure.

 

They may feel frustrated at others for imposing their expectations onto them, or guilty about “failing” to please them.

 

Deciding how much weight and consideration we chose to put on others’ expectations is up to us, very much like being in charge of adjusting a volume control button.

 

It is up to ourselves to take charge and make decisions based on a balanced consideration of every individuals’ inner experience, even if, within certain relationships, we have to be the only ones who take our inner experience into consideration…

 

"In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for "finding himself." If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence."

 

Merton, T.

 

"Others can give you a name or a number, but they can never tell you who you really are. That is something you yourself can only discover from within."

 

Merton, T.

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