Don't Judge Me According To My Past Circumstances

Updated: Jul 23, 2020

I hardly follow the news or know much about the Royal Family, but I love the way Meghan Markle seems to send the message that the behavior of her relatives is just not relevant to who she is and her identity!

I find that so many of us feel a sense of being judged, either according to our current family circumstances or our own past regrets or circumstances.

In her book "Resilience," Ann Deveson writes that although it is well documented that our family upbringing and early experiences do shape our neurological "programming," there is also multitude of research that points to our human ability to transform this "programming," via factors such as changes in our circumstances or commitment to personal development; the impact of our ability to transform can never be underestimated!

In addition, as well as appealing for caution when making a judgement towards any person, Christianity gives the example of Jesus himself frequently experiencing scrutiny (e.g., from the Pharisees) for the company he kept. Demonstrating his own ability to look beyond any stigmas or prejudices that surrounded people within their communities, he was known to show his compassion, esteem, and love, especially to those rejected or looked down on by society.

“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. . . . When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.”

Rogers, C.


Devenson, A. 2003. Resilience. Sydney: Allen & Unwin.

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